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TREKCORE > TAS > EPISODES > THE PRACTICAL JOKER > Quotes
 
Lieutenant Uhura: After a ride like that, I could use some repairs.
   
Mr. Spock: Incredible. This deck is covered with ice.
Captain Kirk: And it was almost covered with us!
   
(after falling into a hole in the ground)
Dr. McCoy: I'm going to get to the bottom of this!
Computer Voice: "Get to the bottom of this!" Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Dr. McCoy: All right, whoever you are, so we fell for your juvenile joke! Now get us out!
Computer Voice: "Fell for my joke!" Ha-ha-ha-ha!
   
Mr. Spock: Question; why are we unable to communicate with crewmembers McCoy, Sulu and Uhura?
Computer Voice: Answer; that is for me to know and for you to find out.
Captain Kirk: Did I hear that right?
Mr. Spock: Affirmative. The dysfunction is more severe than I thought. Question; are you deliberately holding our missing crewmembers prisoner?
Computer Voice: I'll never tell.
Captain Kirk: This is Captain James T. Kirk speaking. You are programmed to obey any direct order I may give, correct?
Computer Voice: Correct.
Captain Kirk: Very well, I order you to release McCoy, Sulu and Uhura immediately.
Computer Voice: Say "please."
Captain Kirk: Well, I'll be--
Mr. Spock: I suggest compliance, Captain.
Captain Kirk: (Through clenched teeth) Please!
Computer Voice: Say "pretty please. . .with sugar on top."
   
(breathing laughing gas)
Captain Kirk: Come on, Spock! Where's that Vulcan sense of humour?!
Lieutenant Arex: Spock! What are you mumbling about?!
   
Computer Voice: My. . .circuits! You tricked me, Kirk! How. . .could. . .you. . .
Dr. McCoy: What the devil is going on?
Captain Kirk: Bones, the worst thing you can do to a practical joker is play a practical joke on them.


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